Thursday, 18 March 2010
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What Do You Do When Your Parents Sponge Off Of YOU?
What do you do when your parents Sponge Off of YOU?
In Response to the Dollarish blog: When Are You Too Old To Sponge Off Of Mom & Dad?
I don’t know how many readers here would have the problem of having parents sponge off you, mostly probably because we are either still young or it’s the culture differences. A lot of Asian parents expect their children to support them when they are older or married. The thing I don’t like about this is that if children sponge off their parents, it would seem almost wrong or being lazy and irresponsible (although I am sure some of them are really to blame). However, if parents sponge off their children, they are usually “justified”. Since they already raised you, they have the perfect excuse to sponge off you and if you reject them, you are the bad guy here.
Now I am all for treating your parents once a while to be polite and show gratitude, but what if your parents sponge off you so much that you lose a big part of your assets? This would sound selfish here, but would you then wish you had sponged off your parents more when you were young, instead of being the ONLY responsible one here?
So what do you do when your parents are the ones sponging off of you? Have you experienced this kind of dynamic?
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- From: hitomineko@xanga
- Name: hitomineko
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Comments (12)
I was born in the US and my parents are fairly Americanized. However, we both expect help from each other within reason. When my parents grow older, I promised that they'll always have a place to stay with me once I live on my own (just like most people raised in an Asian culture).
I've had my mom, dad, and brother borrow money at times. But that's life. The only one that hasn't paid me back before is my mother..
strangely and maybe luckily??? my parents never expected me to "raise" them but i would (and i do) in a heartbeat because they're mom and dad. they did the same for me for so long so its the only thing i could do in return for them. asians are all about respecting the elders anyway. if its other people, i would care but its the parents so its ok.
Oh boy.... my mother in law is notoriously bad about managing money. She's always asking for money and while we would love to help her... we're still fairly young. We have young children, and one with special needs (which means more expenses for speech and physical therapy, as well as various doctor's appointments/testing, etc.). We cannot afford to loan her money every time she asks. I don't think it's inappropriate for her to ask, but sometimes we just have to say no.
I hate when my mom throws the "All the stuff I do for you" crap in my face. It's not like alot but damn it when it comes to money, she wont ever let you forget.
I wouldnt mind helping my parents once in a while but sponging off is a different story.
I would love to help my mom when I'm financial stable with a a real job and a career but right now I only have workstudy jobs. I'm saving this money for repayment of loans and study abroad, so I don't have to ask for her for help in the future. But every time my mom and sister asks, I give but I'm a little annoyed and I do expect repayment as they make soooo much more money than me.
i think it's really ungrateful to say that parents who are possibly to old to support themselves are "sponging off" their children. it's not like having children was cheap or like taking care of you wasn't a large financial responsibility. maybe it's the asian-ness in me, but i wouldn't mind taking are of my parents forever. i owe them a lot.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - that's not exactly what I mean, my key point was that they " sponge" off you excessively that you lose a "big part" of your assets, such as a house for example, (or even marrying someone for " their sake") It is one thing to help out, but they should know the lines and not make children financially unstable for their needs and WANTS.
I'm a student right now and I'm working full time for the term, until I go back to school in the summer. I wouldn't say I'm poor but I like saving money for school, and I'm cheap. So my parents borrowed $4000 from me to pay for a trip to China for the rest of my family cause I'll be in school. and won't be able to go. Yes I realize this isn't quite the same as having them live in my house with me and my wife and kids, but I don't have those yet so I'll let you know when that happens lol. Although, that being said my cousins have their parents living with them. As with the traditional Asian families, as well as others I assume, they'll have...the oldest male house the parents? Is that how it goes, sorry I'm not too in touch with tradition. Anyhow, thankfully I'm the youngest of four so, I have other siblings to have my parents sponge off when I get older. Don't take it the wrong way though I love my parents, I'd just rather not have them live with me forever.
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