Thursday, 11 March 2010
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Who Should Pay on a First Date?
In the age of feminine equality, going Dutch on a date is becoming more and more common, and many men will respect you for at least offering to pay your fair share. When times are tough, however, this can get complicated.
While I think it's generally still expected that the man pays, I will always offer to pay for myself even if I can't afford it. But as a struggling student and now struggling job seeker, I can't afford to splurge on fancy restaurant, so what do I do if I'm caught in that situation?
With friends it's easy to discuss who pays and you can easily say, "I'll get you next time" or even simply decline, saying, "I can't afford to eat out right now." But how do you clear this up on a date? Should you decline simply out of fear that you might have to foot the bill? And you obviously have to clear it up before the meal. What way is that to start out a date? with a disclaimer?
My general feeling is that the person who asks should pay. My reasoning is that if they had not asked you, you would not have gone. I was shocked one time when a guy practically begged me to come out with him and then I ended up having to pay. Thankfully I pretty much tend to plan for the worst and order the cheapest thing on the menu anyway.
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But what would you do?
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About the Author
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- From: Kat
- Name: Kat
- About Me: I am a recent college grad, originally from Gainesville, Florida, and I'm in New York trying to break into the world of publishing - not finding it too easy in this economy.
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Comments (24)
You're totally right, the person who asks should definitely pay. If he doesn't, he's an a** and isn't worth your time anyway. A decent guy will always offer to pay if he asks the girl out.
the person who asks pays.
The guy pays.
So far, I've been going Dutch on all dates. I'm going to let the next guy pay though. If he wants his ego intact then so be it.
I agree with the OP, whoever asked should pay. I think it's tacky when someone asks you out & leaves you with the bill without saying anything. It's happened to me & it's incredibly rude. I mean, you know ahead of time if you dont have money & that's whole "oh I forgot my wallet" crap isnt cute either.
I'm the one who asks for a split check when I go out so there's no issue. If the guy offers to pay then I'll thank him & let him but if crap like what I mentioned happens, I know my food bill is covered. I was taught never to go out without money anyway because you never know what will happen.
hmm.. for me:
go dutch - when i don't ever want to see the guy again. after all, i didn't agree to go on a date just for a free meal!
let him foot the bill for this date - when i do want to see him again. so that i can have the perfect excuse of "let me get the next one then. how about next week? ;)". hehe
I'm paying.
i recalled i went for the first date with my boyfriend last month.I wanted to pay for my own meal but he insisted he pay for it.
But sometimes,i pay for him and he pay for me
i like the old tradition, thus, the guy :)
It is proper etiquette that the person who asks pays. I was asked to lunch recently, but the guy ended up telling the waitress to split the checks. I figured this was either a sign that he wasn't in to me, or he doesn't have any manners. Either way, I thought it was pretty rude.
You two pay for it unless the guy insisted on paying it.
I believe on a date it is proper for the person who did the inviting should pay. But you should have enough money with you to at least cover your meal just in case. If he pays for the first date, maybe you can get the next one (if you would like to go on another date with this person, of course). You can always go some place less expensive. It is the company that counts, not how much you spend. Like someone else mentioned, I do believe you should pay for your meal if you really don't care to see your date again. You don't want to make him feel like you accepted to just to get a free meal.
@babybug329@xanga - That's actually a good idea! Someone else mentioned that it's a good way to ask for a second date - by saying "I'll get the next one." And yea, I have talked to girls who go on dates just for free meals and I don't want to be like that.
the person who asks is the person who should pay.
Is this a trick question?
The guy of course...unless you are just friends.The woman should pay (im vry progressive, y'see)
I don't necessarily think a guy HAS to pay, but I'm kind of old fashioned so I think it'd be weird if he didn't even offer.
the guy pays i think
probably the guy
i'd say the person who asks but i like the tradition where to guy is kind of expected to pay.
Depends on the situations, person, what we're doing. Last date we went kinda dutch. He paid for the cab. We each paid for our own movie tickets, I paid for snacks.
splitting or at least offering to is probably best now haha...
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