Monday, 08 February 2010
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Do You Care What People Think?
Everywhere you turn, people advise you to ignore what people think, that you should do what you want because others' opinions don't matter.
In addition to affecting your self esteem, caring what others' think can hurt your bank account. At the most obvious level, there's the "Keeping Up with the Joneses" mentality, where people spend money just to one up their neighbors or those around you. But it doesn't have to be as extreme as that. As this post points out, so much of what we buy can be subtly motivated by a need to impress other people.
In the post, Trent points out that clothes shopping, home decorating and car purchases can all be about impressing others. I suppose it's true that I don't buy the most bare minimum of clothing to keep myself covered, that I do put thought into it.
But I've always been of two minds when it comes to considering what other people think. One one hand, there's no doubt that it can pointless at best or damaging at worse because people are fickle and you shouldn't live everyday for other people. On the other hand, I don't think we can ever really expect to be free from that. Sometimes it's a question of necessity, like when it comes to your career and networking. You just can't be that way when it comes to your job- what your boss thinks matters, what your clients think matters.
Plus, I also think he mischaracterizes some spending as being about other people. Just because I buy (cheap) nice or stylish clothes doesn't mean it's all about what others think about me. So much about is about wearing things I like, whether it's because it's soft and fluffy or because I like the way I feel when I wear it. People may go over the top decorating their places because they enjoy beautiful things around them, whether people come over or not.
So while I do think we need to be careful about our motivations for spending, I think it's too broad a statement to say that all extravagant spending is motivated by that or that shopping to meet someone else's expectations is always unnecessary.
What do you think? Do you care what people think about you? Does that affect what you buy at all? Do you even think it's a bad thing?
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Comments (11)
It generally doesn't affect what I buy, though sometimes. Not like I have any money anyway. But of course I care what people think. There is a word for people who don't care what other people think, they are clinically defined as psychopaths.
When it comes to clothes or things I buy, I may ask what people think but the final say is mine. If we all tried to one up each other all the time, we'd have no money or we would all look the same.
I want to buy a fast sports car to be able to escape from nazis in superfast tanks trying to eat my brains. Not because I want to impress other people.
It's funny, people often do at one point or another tell you to ignore what others think, but at the same time they will be dictating their clothing, mannerisms, and yes, even home by others thoughts. I think that is a sign of a cliche. No meaning to the words anymore, people just slop them out as responses without grasping their true meaning. I don't know. What ever the case, it's true that people need to stop allowing others to break their confidence and break their bank. Maybe even help someone else out a little who's in need instead of that 53 inch t/v screen replacing your already oversized 45 inch t/v screen, too.
These things don't matter to me. We have a 42" TV, but we hadn't bought a new tv in over 6 years, so we thought we would do something nice for ourselves for once. But our newest car was made in 2003, and well, we live in military housing. Everyone is pretty much the same around here, unless you're an officer or officer's wife.
i've always found it personally important to make sure that my outward reflection shows who i truly am on the inside. i only care about what people thing in the sense that i want them to get an accurate picture of the kind of person i am...... but i wouldn't ever CHANGE that just to make someone else happy.
To an extent I care about what people think, but that doesn't bleed over into my purchases. I tend to buy things I personally like that I believe accent my features or overall make me feel better.
Do you care what people think about you?
yes, i don't like how much i care about being liked. However, since I can't change this need to be accepted and I refuse to become a different (materialistic?) person , I just won't hang out with people who think things are important.
Does that affect what you buy at all?
Nope.
Do you even think it's a bad thing?
I don't think you should let people control you and how you spend your money. You'll never be happy.
When we were all little, we are all less shy and care less about how we dress. The older we are, the more we notice the small details. While I do care what some people think, I would never purchase something just to keep up with the latest trend.
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