I've worked as a waitress since I was in high school. The days are long, the work is hard, and the only truthful reason anyone has for getting into the food service business is the tips. For me, it was a matter of trial and error over a long period of time before I finally learned the unofficial rules of serving greasy food to ungrateful customers.
So last week, when the store owners brought in an "expert" to give us all some pointers on how to be a good waitress this holiday season, I almost lost it. All of it was the complete opposite of what a good waitress should do, but I saw the newbies taking notes like it was a college course.
Some of the most common "guides for waitresses" that are floating around the web are total bull in an actual restaurant. Here's some alternatives that I've gathered from personal experience.
1. Do not touch the customer. Ever. Our "expert" informed us that touching a customer on the shoulder while you speak to them would establish service on a more personable, friendly level. In reality, no one wants a stranger touching them while they eat. Unless you know the person (and even then), imagine a personal space bubble for every hungry customer and stay out of it.
2. Do not get comfortable.The biggest mistake I've seen made where I work is a waitress who sits down at the table or slides into the booth with a customer in order to show them the menu, recite specials, or take their order. Even at a casual restaurant, remain standing. Most customers "claim" the table or booth they are sitting at, and it makes them uncomfortable when you invade that space when there's really no reason to, other than your feet being tired.
3. Do not be pushy. Every manager will tell you to "suggestive sell." Part of your job is to persuade the customer to buy an appetizer they really don't want, or to convince them that they want dessert when they're already full. But, under no circumstances, should you bully the customer. If they say no once, politely offer some information on what you are selling. It could be a special, or a new menu item, or an alcoholic beverage. If they say no again, just leave it.
I've seen girls where I work continue to explain specials and push items after the customer has expressed disinterest, and it results in no tip and no return service.
4. Do not be insincere.A customer can smell bull crap from a mile away. They know if you're actually being friendly, or if you're just schmoozing them for bigger tips. Be yourself. Be friendly. Be attentive. That's all they require of you. If you don't get a tip for being yourself and doing your job, then they weren't going to leave you a tip no matter how over-the-top you went with it.
5. Do not blame someone else.If a customer's food is taking a long time, don't ever blame the kitchen or another member of the wait-staff, even if it is their fault. Most of the time, the customer will just think you're making excuses anyways. Instead, apologize for the problem yourself, and don't mention the shortcomings of who is cooking their food.
6. Do not make promises you can't keep.Some people are just hard to please. If you get a particularly angry customer that won't calm down, the biggest mistake you can make is offering to comp their bill or give them a discount that you aren't authorized to give. In the tough economy, many restaurants are getting more picky about giving discounts to unreasonable customers. For example, a former boss of mine refused to give a discount to a man who complained that his food was undercooked... after he had eaten the entire plate.
Ask your supervisors beforehand if you are permitted to offer discounts yourself, and how much of a discount you are able to give. If you are unsure of the situation, always ask before you make a decision.
Those are just a few of the ways I've avoided bad tips and annoyed customers.
Do you have any other pointers for less experienced waiters/waitresses?Image Source
Comments (166)
these sound good! it's hard to believe people would tell you to do the contrary.
If the customer asks why the food is taking so long and you respond by saying "it'll be right out," PLEASE make sure it's actually going to come out relatively soon...otherwise, make a more plausible excuse or I am out of there.
I rec'd this because you're right. I worked in a restaurant & the things I've seen make interesting stories. I had one woman who came in during peak lunch hour & kept nagging me saying had 2 people in their 90s that had to eat. I told her I understood but there was a wait time & this wasnt fast food.
One thing I would add is if someone is yelling or has a problem beyond your control or you feel threatened, call the manager. You dont have to take shit from customers. If the manager is no help, go overhead. I've been lucky to have managers who say "just let me know & I'll take the blame for you because people act ridiculous".
@aznspartan94@xanga - I HATE that too. I have gotten up just as my food is coming out because they took so long. I'm talking over a 45 minute wait with no explanation or apology. What I also dont like is when they run out of something, dont tell you & substitute the food without asking.
Yeah. People aren't going out to make new friends, they just want to eat a nice meal in peace. No touching, no sitting down with them.
This is good solid advice.
Except, I don't mind being touched by a pretty gal like you
Don't be unbelievably rude? Most people should know that but my boyfriend's ex girlfriend is a waitress for Cheesecake Factory and she actually had the nerve to one day SAY(not ASK) to a couple (who had a child with them of a different nationality) "Oh cute kid. Where is he from? Did you guys adopt him?" Most families that adopt dont want their children to be pointed at as not their own. Seriously? Common sense. When I heard that iI had hoped she'd be fired!
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - i wish managers would tell servers, especially younger or inexperienced ones, that they have the right to walk away from a customer if they are yelling or being abusive. that goes for all jobs, really.
oh god, i don't even know what i would do if a waiter touched me. (or any stranger, really. unless you're a firefighter rescuing me from a towering inferno, lay off.)
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - that's a really good point. when i worked as a camp counselor it was pretty much the same thing -- if kids were unruly we were supposed to send them to the office. not our problem.
@abless@xanga - That's true. I just walk away when they act stupid. It's not worth it. When I see them get bent out of shape over a cooking mistake or something beyond my control, I leave & get a manager.
Your advice is right on, I too waited tables when I was younger and recently when I read an article that said to touch the customer I was shocked. I'm a psychology student and one key thing we are always learning again and again is how much people need their personal space.
The biggest thing my husband and I complain about is when wait staff doesnt pay enough attention to drinks. We drink a lot and quickly. So just glancing at the table as you walk by will tell you if they need more drinks or not! I hate when people dont notice or take forever to get more.
These were great tips!
This was wonderful. I Was a waitress too and I learned that it's better to get the orders first and then punch them into the kitchen. Because if you give the last tables order to the chef and then go to the next tables, they're stuff could already be out before you even finish getting orders, then you'll be rushing to get them in and everything will be all out of order. And, we had to carry plates on our hands so if you think you can't get everything, don't be afraid to ask for help and don't be afraid to just make two trips. Oh, and always, always be early.
Yeah... I definitely don't like being touched by random strangers. That would make me feel uncomfortable. It takes me a while to get comfortable with anyone touching me.
This manager offered a 0.10% off discount at a restaurant to my aunt who's meat were uncooked. Such a dooshbag!
meh i always tip the waiter/waitress if i go out eating and its me paying..I'm not sure about others..some people can be just douchebags and/or hard to please.
I LOVE 3 and 5. My boyfriend always says stupid things to the waiter when they offer desert like "I don't know where I'd put it," it annoys me, but he claims that if he doesn't make it a diffenative no then the waiter will continue to push it. I have never had that problem, all I have ever had to do was say no nicely. I have finally gotten him to mostly stop saying it and just say a nice no thanks.
And 5, I hate the blame game. I really don't care who screwed up or why, just say your sorry and will take care of it as quickly as possible. That is how I train people, never ever blame. Just dealt with "the blame game" over my cell phone last week. And you are 100% right, when you say it was someone else's fault we usually just think it is an excuse.
These aren't all that different for retail, and I have spent many years in sales and retail.
Too bad I did all these at Steak n Shake and STILL got fired. :\
One time at Perkins I got a coffee cup that had lipstick on it. It hadn't even been washed! But did I get my coffee free? No. Did I get a discount? No. All I got was a bitchy waitress telling me that sometimes things slip through the cracks and that since I got another cup it shouldn't be a big deal. I was irate.
Good tips.
I've never been a waitress so I can't relate. But as a customer/consumer, I can say that you're spot on. LOL a waiter/waitress touching me and sitting at my table? I'd never want that, even if the waiter was good looking.
I wish people would just realize they're not the only goddamned customers in the whole place and that in the kitchen it's first-come first-served. The person who ordered before you doesn't deserve a burned or undercooked meal just because Your Highness decided to grace the diner on the corner of the bad part of town on that particular day at that particular time. If you don't have the patience, then obviously it's a really stupid idea to go to a sit-down restaraunt.
And I can't believe anyone would ever profess being an 'expert' at something like serving. And then trying to give pointers that were obviously creepy!
As a cook for over a year I can say one of the biggest mistakes a
waiter/waitress can do is to either yell at the cook(s) or to actually
get into the way of the cooks making food. I know these things
INFURIATED our entire cooking staff, once you have got them to that
point expect longer cooking times, a less than satisfactory
presentation and an understandably frustrated cook(s). If your food is taking longer than usual, the cook(s) will be the first one to know and will already be doing the best they can to get it done on time. Also if a customer sends back food for an understandable reason, again, don't yell or get in the way, we'll make it again and right to the best of our abilities but we are never going to happy about it.
And i agree, some very good tips.
well.. at least now I stand a chance. thanks for the tips!
gee, this comes at a convenient time. i'm trying to get a new job as a waitress after i kind of sucked at my last one and got fired.