With that title, you just couldn't help but keep reading, right?
Death is that taboo topic no one likes to talk about. It is a far cry from proper dinner table conversation, terrible for cocktail party chit-chat, and will never be a water-cooler topic at the office.
But..why? Here's the thing: Everybody dies. But no one wants to think about it. I have friends who have names picked out for their future children, even though they may never actually meet that special someone and have children. I have friends who save and plan for grand backpacking-through-Europe adventures, who may never actually leave the continental US. They talk about, save for and plan on things that may never happen...but they do not talk about, save for or plan on death. Despite the various ages, religious beliefs and levels of openness among people I know, not one of them wants to talk about death.
I don't mean for this to be morbid, just logical. Seriously—every single person reading this post will die. Not tomorrow, God willing, but eventually. Me? I'm twenty-five. With any luck, I've got a good 50 or 60 years left to go, but who knows? I could get hit by a truck tomorrow, and that would be the end of it.
So today, I ask you to contemplate for a moment, death.
Because really—it's getting more and more expensive to die! According to the National Funeral Director's Association, the average funeral in 2008 cost $6,500. And that's assuming you just straight-up kick the bucket... without factoring in any medical bills or expenses transporting your body from some far off land. It's also not counting any legal fees for lawyers, estate taxes, etc. (Though if you're like me, and your assets consist of a hand-me-down couch and a few video game systems, that last bit doesn't matter much...)
In addition to the cost, it's also worth pondering if anyone around you knows what you want done with yourself when that time comes. Should they donate your organs? Cremate you? Bury you near family?
I confess, I have a skewed perspective on the whole thing. My family has been freakishly open about death for much of my life. For years, my grandma has had her obituary written (updated as life events occurred, of course), just in case. My other grandma has informed me of the songs she wants sung at her funeral. My parents went on a two-week tour of Europe my senior year of high school. Before they left, my mother sat me down and showed me where the key to the safe deposit box was, what the parameters of their wills were, and who to contact in case the plane or train they were on crashed. Now that both parents are over 50, they've also planned and saved for their funeral and cremation. I also know what their final medical wishes are, where their ashes are to be scattered, what company they'd want to list their house with, and what items they want passed to whom, and what can simply be sold off.
This has set off a conversation with my husband, as well. He comes from a family that definitely doesn't talk about what to do about death, so I think I freaked him out a bit. But, after some prodding, I know what he wants, too. Not in as specific detail, but hopefully I've got time to get the rest of the important things out of him!
I get that this sounds totally creepy, and a random conversation about death and what happens with it is not normal for most people, but it's actually quite comforting! Should anyone close to me suddenly die, I'll have only my own emotions to deal with, and very little of the practical what-nots to face.
So, tell me. Have you given any thought to death? Do you think you know what you'll need to do if someone close to you dies?Image Source
Comments (4)
I didn't think I'd ever need to care...I'm only 19...but my father always let me know his wishes. Strangely enough, when he died unexpectedly 6 months ago at 59, everything came back with great clarity. I planned the funeral, readings, hymns, and all.
Talking about death arrangements isn't creepy. I've been working for a funeral home for 2.5 years now. Death is a part of life and it's important to make sure everything is in order in case anything unexpected should happen. It happens to people everyday. My parents wanna get all their pre-need stuff in order...caskets, services, etc. That way when their time comes (hopefully not for a very long time) my brother and I won't have a lot of planning on our shoulders.
My brother has been to Iraq twice and has had to go through all of this stuff as well in case something happened to him over there.
Yeah, I know what you mean. My grandma passed away a few weeks ago, and as she was a Christian, my mother and her siblings had a lot in their hands to help organize and carry out the necessary religious rites: prayers, burial, etc. All in all, about RM6,000+ was forked out...I think the most expensive part was the casket in which they laid my grandma in. The rest was pretty simple, because she was buried in her village (it's in a rural area), so the ceremony was only done in a village-like, simple fashion.
As for me, I don't think I have much to plan up for in case I died. I'll just be buried in the typical Muslim way: prayers and burial, then a small ceremony (kenduri arwah, as they call 'em here). That would only cost around RM500+; no qualms over where to bury me - people would just have me buried in any nearby Muslim cemetery where I died. Pretty simple!
As for assets and inheritance - I'd be sure to plan up on giving away what to whom, say, around the time I'm pretty settled down: good finances, stable career and life economic status, stuff like that. I mean, if I were only to start out working, am still pursuing my education, or am still working my way up to a good career, I don't see much on what I can give away that is truly worthwhile except for insurance (and that, too, has no worries, as you would have already named someone as the insured). So, pretty much that's that.
nope.