Our recent
Ten Ways to Pay for College post got a lot of thought-provoking comments, many of which concerned whether or not parents should pay for their children's college education.
I'll start of my re-posting some of the comments, then tell you my take on the situation.
From
tigerdauphin@xanga:
I definitely understand that all parents want to help out with paying for their kids' education, but realistically, not many can afford it. Most just take out loans anyway. The silver lining is that people like us, having to pay for ourselves, will learn great money managing skills for later in life. And also - we just appreciate every dollar more!
From
MessyJessi86@xanga:
For the record, I don't think parents are REQUIRED to fund their child's education, but I think that as a responsible parent it is important to help as much as you are able in whatever ways you can.
From
goldfishstormcloud@xanga:
no one bothered to tell me how hard it would really be to pay for college.
There were a
lot more comments, too many to post here, but I'll try to summarize some of the points:
- A lot of commenter's parents/relatives cannot/could not not afford to pay all or part of their tuition.
- Many people in or done with college wish they'd known more about the cost, which loans to take out, etc.
- Lots of people wish they'd considered, are considering, or are attending community college. tigerdauphin@xanga wrote up some great tips on choosing a community college—basically, it's important to find one whose credits will transfer when you transfer. (Also, lots of community colleges, like the ones in NYC's CUNY system, offer two-year programs that grant associate's degrees, which allow you to enter four-year CUNY schools as a junior with all of your gen-eds complete.)
As for me, my parents are paying for my college education. My dad didn't get a lot of support from
his parents, and he wound up cramming his undergrad experience into three years to save money, which is why it's important to him to finance my education. He's also worked a lot of long hours to gather up the necessary funds. So basically, if I told him I wanted to pay for college myself it would be like a slap in the face. (He was already pretty taken aback when I told him I wanted to foot my own grad school bill, if I decide to go.)
I do agree with tigerdauphin that people who have to handle their own finances at an early age (like, freshman year of college) tend to better understand how to manage their money, and appreciate things like budgeting and spending. But I want to emphasize that there are
so many opportunities in life to learn these lessons, whether you're living away from home, starting to pay some of your own bills, or just taking an interest in the family finances.
Overall, I think I agree with MessyJessi86, that parents don't have to pay for their children's higher education, but they should give them all the help they can. And I don't just mean financially—parents should, if possible, help their children choose the right school for them, and help them at least
figure out how to pay for it.
Do you think parents should pay for college? How valuable are the money lessons people learn while financing their own education?Image Source
Comments (56)
Right now, my mom and relatives are paying for my undergrad education so the school loans will be more bearable when I graduate. (It's around $17.5 k) Of course, I appreciate what they are doing for me because going to college is a privilege and it's difficult to pay, even when I'm on financial aid. (No dad in the picture.) I know that I will be paying back my family as soon as I get an actual job. Money lessons are important because I never had an allowance and all the money I got/ made went towards my education. Only recently have I been looking into budgeting more. (If I ever really need anything, I would ask my mom but money from my current side job as a cello teacher goes into my savings account for the $17.5 k.) College students learn how to handle money more once they get a job and officially decide what they need vs unnecessary expenses.
My parents didn't want me working when I was in high school, other than the occasional babysitting jobs/housesitting...things like that. I did have a paper route for awhile but, my parents just wanted me to concentrate on school and enjoying being a teenager. Because of this, they paid for my college. I DID however get a lot of scholarships so that helped.
should our parents pay for college?
well...they may help :)
but i think it would be better if we get a job and pay it by ourselves :)
I think they should. But I also think the student should do their part by getting scholarships, then going ahead and actually making good grades in college. Not flunking or being a drunk party kid.
if they can afford it then yes i think parents should help their kid pay for college in order to help keep their kid out of a bunch of debt. but realistically not many parents CAN afford it, especially if they have two or more kids. and either way i dont think the parents should pay for ALL of it. my grandparents have helped me pay for a small fraction of my college since i'm one of the few grandkids that actually is going to college and i dont feel bad about it cuz they have the money! the rest i had to get scholarships and loans to cover.
however if the parents/relatives are helping the kids pay for college i think they should have a small say in where the kid goes to school and a right to access the kids progress, like their grades and their attendance. cuz if the kid is just partying and not taking anything seriously then i would defiantly cut them off.
i dont think parents should put so much pressure to make their kids go to college though. i do believe that college isnt for everyone. especially right when you get out of high school. sure they say its easier to go to college right away and get it over with, but a lot of kids right out of high school dont have the mind set to go to school (thats usually a lot harder than high school) for another 4 or so years, especially on their own will. They just want out of the birds nest to they can explore and party. I see this a lot at school and unfortunately its a huge waste of money for whoever is paying for it. heck, i see a lot of kids in their 2nd and 3rd year of college who dont even know what they want to do, they're just going through the motions. but i do see a lot kids who either took a break after high school or flunked out of college and are coming back to school and do really well! so before a parent decides to help pay for college they should make sure the kid is 100% committed and ready too.
hopefully i'll get some sort of scholarship to help me through college (i'm actually waiting on psat scores for the nmsqt .___. augh) because otherwise, my parents would probably be footing most of the bill for my education. i mean, they tell me that my education is the first priority, but it's also pretty much the only thing that they fight about and that causes them stress. i may not get along with my parents at all, but if there's an opportunity for me to spare my parents all this worrying about paying for college, i'd jump at it.
my parents fund for my education. they'd sell our house just to do it, and they told me so. i would fund for it myself, but between all the classes and assignments and such, i don't think i'd have the time to pay it off myself. but yes, they don't have to do that, and im really grateful that they do.
They shouldn't have to. Public education should be cheap enough that the average middle class student should be able to pay it off in a reasonable amount of time. However, at the point where we're at, it's almost necessary. I;m 18 and have an AA and three years work experience, but I'm unable to find even one job that will give me more than eight hours a week, let alone the two or three that's now necessary just to make reasonable payments. The shriveling job market, skyrocketing tuition costs and increased costs in living are making it impossible for the student of 2009 to put themselves through college debt-free.
I will make sure I have a retirement fund first and then I will start putting money towards my son's college so he doesn't have to take care of me in my old age!
That being said I will definitely help my son through certain aspects of college. My mum told I had to go to college or else, but did nothing to help me with the process. I had to depend on my best friend's mom whenever I had questions about certain processes and what not.
I think that if you people are paying for tuition to learn about finances and such that the parents have already failed their children when it comes to finances! Before I ever graduated high school, I knew quite a bit about finances. I have learned more as time progressed - but it was an educated process rather than trial and error with huge sums of money!
My parents helped me with college. I left with a BS and no loans. I want to be able to do the same for my children - it really helps put you much farther ahead in life.
My dad, being an attorney, has specifically made a college fund for me because education is the most important thing and since i did not have the weight of student loans, all my worry was getting the A in whatever class. It helps. I do plan on paying him back though b/c I do not want to take advantage of that.
I feel like parents should at least cosign on loans for their kids to go to college. :-\ It's kind of hard getting a loan without any credit history.
I think it should be a mix. Like, I believe in setting funds aside for your kid's education because prices certainly aren't used to be. I had to pay for part of my college expenses -- I pay for books and everything else. When I move on to university I plan to pay for part of the tuition as well. Their main concern is for me to be out of school without any loans to pay back, because it's no way to start a life.
I think as prices for college continue to progress so much as the future becomes the present, college will be impossible to pay for no matter what, either way.
My parents offered any help I could possibly need (including an education fund that was started when I was 3 that got some money from the government every year as we were low-income), but so far, I have not needed it. I pay it all from my savings and work during the school year, holidays, and summer. I think especially for newer generations, it really needs to be stressed the value of a dollar - consensual hallucination or not, kids need to learn fast that money doesn't come easily.
I think starting to work early and realizing that it required hard work is what got me kick started off to good financial history and so far, good credit. That said, parents should definitely be willing to help in any way they can, but ultimately I think when the time comes, a student should be left to carry their own responsibility and seek help only when needed and not just as a matter of convenience.
If they're pushing me to take all of these AP classes and reminding me that I cannot live in a dorm because my virtue is at stake (making USC the only option), then I guess they should.
mine are paying EVERYTHING, but I think I've given them a fair trade off.
Basically I have many thousands and thousands of dollars after having given up my youth to study like mad, and with the full intent that I will become a doctor/pharmacist and support them in their senior years. And I've done so with little to no resistance.
Not the ideal situation, but fair.
Definitely, it's almost like asking, "Should parents raise their children?"
My first official year in college I watched a lot of people that I knew who had there parents pay for their college fail out. I'm not saying this is always the case, not at all, but i've seen a lot of people spend too much time doing other things than what they had to do because they never had to worry about anything. Just ask the parents for money. This happened more than I liked to see. Then I have my friend that work full time jobs to pay for their school. These people have some of the better grades. Who would want all the money that they worked for to end up in the drain? These people seemed more aware of what they needed to do.
I think parents should help IF and only if they can afford to. The student should also be doing their best to get as much financial help as possible.
As one of four daughters going to college I wouldn't feel comfortable with my parents paying for my college anymore. My first year of college they paid for me. A lot of stress actually came with that when financial couldn't be met, specially when things were happening in my family that was beyond my control. My parents never wanted me to work while I was in college but a few weeks after my third semester (I started at my university in the summer) a search for a job was frantic even though i already knew all the jobs were taken. I live in a college town.
This year, with my younger sister being a freshmen and one of my older sister unable to pay her way through grad school, it was best for me and my family if i paid for my own college. I have just enough financial aid (scholarships, grants, and loans) to pay for my school and living costs. Of course i have many other reasons for paying for my own college, but my main one was not to be a financial burden to my family. They have enough on their shoulders with my other sisters.
They shouldn't be forced to pay, but if they wanted to help, then they can.
of course im going to try to get scholarships to help,but mainly my parents will be paying for it, but im going to get a job and pay for my own appartment and everything else i'll need.
I dont think parents SHOULD but if they want to and can why not?
I had to work full time throughout my college experience and it definitely makes your grades suffer considerably.
My plan has always been to not pay 100% of college costs. What I plan to do is match my son/daughters savings for college...plus a little. In other words, if they put away $1000 in a year for college I'll put in $2000-3000. This way they're not having to foot the entire bill, but still learning the importance of work ethic and the value of a dollar.
i definatly think they should pay for college and if they can't pay for the whole 3/4 years than atleast the first or pay for living expenses for atleast the first year.
what parent wants their child to start out their adult life under piles and piles of debt that could take 10 years to pay off? and how will they concentrate on school when they have to work extra hours to pay for it?
why shouldn't parents give their kids one final bit of help before sending them out into the big world.
im from England, and traditionaly English people stop paying for their kids once their child gets a job, let a lone pay for university. i mean, i have so many friends who still in high school and live at home but have to pay their parents for food and rent just because they have a job!
also, uni's shouldnt be so expenisive! i almost dont wanna go becasue i dont wanna deal with all the debt and money!
I paid every penny of my post-secondary on my own. I worked two jobs and was in school full-time. I learned to manage money and time incredibly well. My parents did not have the means to help, and I have no problem with that.
I should add that I did it without taking out a loan. By the end of it all, I had a total of $700 on my credit card to pay off. That's it.
Then again, I didn't sleep much.