It's nice to be in a relationship and to have money. Whether you are spoiling your girlfriend with gifts or just being able to help them out when they need it, it's something one can appreciate. I am the kind of woman that loves to spoil her guy. I will see a nice sweater on sale at Express and I'll pick it up for him, just because.
On the other hand, I have a lot of guy friends that plan their budgets according to their girlfriend. One guy I know puts money aside to make sure he has enough spending money for the weekend to take his girlfriend out.
On the plus side, it is fun to do things with your partner. If you're splitting a meal at an expensive restaurant, it can be a frugal experience.You can wine and dine over plate of spaghetti at an Italian restaurant. I'm thinking a romantic "Lady and The Tramp" kind of date.
The more you give, the more you receive, right? Another way to treat your love is to pay for this movie date one night and next time he'll treat you to a new DVD you've had your eye on. He's got it covered one night, you'll pick up the tab for the next. It seems very fair and balanced if you ask me. When I used to live with my significant other, it was a great pleasure to budget our finances together. It made things a lot easier to organize the cash flow between our bills and personal expenses.
But there is always a down side to things. In my personal case, my unemployment status seems to get in the way of treating even myself. I do not feel comfortable not having my own money and I feel like I am not up to par in a relationship. I like things to be equal; not one person putting more than the other. It makes me feel very uneasy to worry about cash all the time and to not have enough of my own money. How can I think of treating someone else when I can barely handle my own expenses?
Also, for people in a new relationship, it can be surprisingly costly. One couple I know that started dating argue all the time because he is adjusting to her expensive tastes. Dining at lavish sushi bars every other night is normal to her, while he is the more McDonalds kind of guy. For him, the cost of his girlfriend is high and something he did not see upon the first few dates where they often split the costs.
Do you spend a lot in your previous or current relationship? How do you budget yourself?
Comments (24)
I have been married almost 54 years and I still cannot afford my wife.
In the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, he did a lot of the paying because he didn't feel is was "right" for me to pay for dinner or a movie or something. We have recently cut back a lot on going out to eat and spending money on activities because I'm now in college and we all know college kids are poor. He's working, but he also has to pay for car insurance and such. So the whole "i pay this time you pay next time" thing we recently adopted. But now, i can't even do that. I have little to no money for myself let alone him. We decided on, "how about you/I just cook something at home".
p.s. and i have expensive taste, so this whole "i have no money" thing is hard for me to adjust to. but expensive to me is american eagle or aeropostale. ha. or the occasional yearly splurg on coach.
I'm not crazy over someone spending their money on me. I prefer to buy things that I want by myself and pay for whatever I can. Sure, if he wants to pay for my food sometimes, he can, but I wouldn't tell him to pay for like my shopping sprees or whatever lol.
@soniiuh@xanga Couldn't have said it better myself. Your pinkberry looks delicious BTW lol.
I am the nice dinners every other night and my man is the mcdonald's guy. Poor my babe. One night...we were about to go eat Wings...maybe 35 bucks total...but I changed my mind and we ended up at Oceanaire....came out to be over 100. lol.
@ANVRSADDAY@xanga - heheh.Your wife gives you a weekly allowance? Heh. You shouldnt have to pay back your laptop from the computer kid....since NORMA's been traveling and even has future travel plans. Plus...youre at home watching HER mother for 2 weeks while she plays and be worry free. You get to have something. Fight for your rights FRANK! =P
@oOBuBBLes711Oo@xanga - sorry and I am not kidding, I am a wimp. Many gals in Xanga have tried to get me to be a man and failed. However, I am OK with my life.
No bf for me. I have expensive taste, I'll admit, but I don't let anyone buy things for me because it feels like I "owe" them.. such a nagging, annoying feeling.. However, when I did have a bf, it's usually pretty even.
i spend alot of money on my guy. well, if i have money. i'm the kind of person who doesn't buy me things because i spend everything on someone else.
i got four hundred for graduation. a hundred went in my gas tank, the other three went to taking my guy out & buying him cigarettes & food & whatnot.
but i don't ask for much. dinner or a movie sometimes is nice. other than that, i don't need money spent on me.
You can do a lot that's fun, cute, romantic, whatever, without spending a lot of $ on the other person. I like buying little gifts for people, and get genuinely touched when I receive random things like that from someone else. It just makes you feel... special. I think it is important to find someone who is on the same level as you with that. You don't always want to be the one giving, and it's not fair to be the only one receiving, either. :P
PS - Maybe Sushi Girl and McDonald's Boy should find someone else who fit their individual tastes better? It seems like that would be constant tension if you can't even both be happy where you are eating.
my ex was so fucking expensive. I regret going out with her when i did...or even having met her in the first place.
I am just me...I guess.
XH
There's a fine line (if there is one at all) between "frugal" and a "cheap bastard." I don't expect my SO to pay for meals and activities all of the time, but to hear him bitch and moan about gas money and alcohol money, when I've paid for dinner and movies, is just something I cant stand.
And then you get in the awkward situation of "giving" your SO money as if they are a hooker. I guess this is why I'd prefer a man like me, who has a steady job and is generous. I feel weird buying my SO $50 birthday gifts when he complains about taking me to a restaurant that's under $8 a person.
Well right now my boyfriend is more expensive than me, just because he cannot find a job. I take him out to try to find him a job so that costs money with gas. And seeing as I don't like to just stay in all of the time we will sometimes go and get something to eat or see a movie. He hates not having money.
He feels bad for not having a job, but it's not like he's not doing anything to find one. I help him with his resumes so I know he's not sabotaging himself to get away with not having a job.
So I would say I spend like $30 a month on average on him.
He's worth it though.
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I've never been crazy about my significant other buying me things. While it is incredibly sweet, I really don't approve of him spending a lot of money on me since he is busy in technical school. When we go out now, I usually insist on switching out who pays or springing for a movie rental and popcorn if he pays for dinner -- something to balance it out. He is getting used to my insistance, but it can be hard to break the habit instilled by exes.
Although I'm currently working, I don't exactly have a ton of money laying around. College students are never rich, lol. My boyfriend had lost his job a few months ago and is looking for work but his unemployment checks are way less than the average paycheck.
So instead of spending money on each other, we find other ways to spend time together that don't require money; video games, picnic on the beach, walking around the park, etc.
As for presents, if I don't have much money that month, I either cook/bake for him or make him something by hand. He does the same thing as well (:
@danicadelacruz@xanga - Nobody cares about your stupid, virus infested blog. Stop spamming the Ish posts.
in my last relationship, bryan and i didn't spend as much money as my first relationship with my first ex, doug. doug was a big spender but at the same time, he earned a good living so we spent a lot of money and was showered with lots of gifts from him and eventually it got old pretty quick. but with my last bf, bryan, we both worked pretty hard so we didn't spend too much but when we did spend, we did spend good money and go on great outings. relationships always costs money but there are other things you can do to cut that less.
i can't even afford myself
i've realized that spending money on a boyfriend (or vice versa) doesn't necessarily mean it will be reciprocated. the most expensive boyfriend i ever had, i paid for his rent, his food, his cellphone, his phone bills, and his bad drug habit that i did not know about.
so i figured, if i'm in another relationship, i'll focus on doing stuff that doesn't cost money.
As far as I'm concerned a boyfriend or a girlfriend shouldn't be defined as expensive or inexpensive. You don't owe them anything financially really. By using those terms it makes it sound like you HAVE to buy them things. If you're buying something for them its because you want to and not because you have to. If you end up giving a s/o money for rent or a phone bill or something and you two agree that they don't have to reimburse you then it's you choosing to do it because you care. No one is making you do it.
I think that the splitting the costs of nights out or etc. is a really good idea. It won't leave one s/o feeling like they're not contributing anything financially to the relationship.
I like to buy my boyfriend things because I Love Him. I don't expect him to go out and buy me something because I bought him something. If he did I'd be really grateful but if he didn't I wouldn't be upset. I enjoy doing it because I know it makes him happy. Therefore it's my choice to do it so I can't really say it's him being expensive because it's not like he expects it.
I'm only 14, and I've had 7 boyfriends. You can judge me all you want because yes, I know I've made mistakes and it was wrong to have all those boyfriends but now I just want to enjoy being single and I've been through so much hurt and heart ache that I can't handle a relationship anymore. But, my relationships have never been really expensive anyway.
Skylar Expressional.
Oh boy. My current boyfriend does not have a job but I do so I try to cut back on expenses for his sake. Yes, we are both students, but because I have a job, I feel I can afford to eat out once a week and pay for him too. Unfortunately, he feels awkward about it, so we try to make pbj sandwiches when he comes over to my dorm to save money.
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