I'm sure you've heard them. Hard luck stories of how people need something at any given time. Maybe they need money to eat because they lost their wallet the previous night. Maybe they need the food money because they put all their money up their nose the previous night. Who can really tell? Then you have those who burn you with flimsy promises.
"When I have the money, you'll get your money."
"Times are hard all over."
"I had to give money to my mom/lady/little brother."
All you get is lies for your $5, $10, $50.
It's logical to give a hard luck story when you need to borrow money, even if it's not for essential necessities like food or electricity. It's a tactic used by those who don't have or are to lazy to acquire by themselves to take advantage of the kind or gullible.
Early in life I learned to ignore people's tales about anything that I couldn't confirm firsthand. At 10 or 11 I saw a man beaten for not returning money he had borrowed, when I asked about it to those around me, the consensus was that he deserved it for not being a man of his word. When I was 13 a family friend said he had to get $200 together to pay for his girlfriend's abortion. It sounded fishy and was, since he and I later found out that abortions were free (he was getting scammed.)
Nowadays I'll offer food to people I meet or know since everyone can use a good meal, but beyond that I'm seriously stingy with my lending funds. And when I give money it's not a loan, but a gift, never to be returned or brought up in conversation.
Do you lend money to anyone? Do you give money away to those who need it?
Comments (8)
Usually, the people that ask me for money are the homeless. Looking at the price of even coffee, I think, what can I give you that would really help? They need government help. I say "sorry" because, I have to live in the neighbourhood. I don't want transients hanging around at night just because some guy gave them money. Like pigeons, if you feed them they stay around for more. Stop giving them anything and they flock off.
I never give any money to anyone. Sure I might give out the occasional 50 cents but that's only when I'm feeling generous. If they need money they should've asked their parents and if they wouldn't loan them any then maybe it's time to start mowing lawns or working the drive-thru.
i usually just lend money to my siblings that's all.
I lend to close friends only.
Luckily I havent had the opportunity to lend anyone money, however i did live out on my own when i was 19 yrs old with two other girls, and basically i was the only responsible adult because i collected money and wrote the checks to pay the bills, but collecting money from them was awful, painful and annoying.
if its a really really really really really good friend than i dont mind borrowing money but it depends on how much though. im not an ATM and even ATMs have cash limits. i think its ok and very logical to write an IOU that way if the person doesnt give back the money, you could sue them :) or at least have proof you lent them money. verbal consent is nothing in court. got to have hardcore evidence to back it up. some might say never borrow money to family and friends (i could see the point in that) but thats a little harsh, it really depends on the relationship you have with that person, how much they want to borrow and mainly yourself. most of us have been in "i need some money" situations and wished somebody would lend us money (been there done that) so i honestly could say "i know how it feels to open your mouth and ask to borrow money".
I don't lend money to anyone other than my immediate family. And even then I'd rather just give the money if needed because we were brought up to never ask for money unless it really is a life or death situation. I stand by these rules today, and can see right through people who want extra money because they'd rather use yours than their own.
I also just never loan out money. I'm not opposed to fronting a friend $10 for dinner or something, but I only do it when I have enough and don't expect to be paid back. Then, if I get my $10 back, it's a fun, unexpected windfall! And if I don't...well, I wasn't expecting to anyway.
I fortunately have never had a family member ask for money, but I confess once taking out a loan from my sister to buy a car. We did map out a repayment schedule and sign an agreement witnessed by our parents just to make it legit - I believe the agreement started out with, "In order to avoid a Judge Jud appearance..." It made it lighthearted but still gave the loan legitimacy so that neither of us could accuse the other of scamming. I have a great relationship with my sister, though, so she's pretty much the only person I would ever go to if I needed to borrow money!